When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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