I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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