In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
