I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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