Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
