I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this will be a night to untag.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
