yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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