i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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