I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
