please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
