I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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