is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
