The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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