I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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