they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
love makes seman taste better
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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