susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
