I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
