i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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