I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
