That's intense
the condom got lost in my hair
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
