she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
