i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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