God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
