He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize