I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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