Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
