Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
