Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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