this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
