I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
