hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize