xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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