so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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