Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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