She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
