My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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