Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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