he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
there is glitter all over my balls
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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