I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
