Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
