You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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