he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
