Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
