i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize