ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
