matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
