he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
