Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
