I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Panties = found
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize