I'm drive I can fine osifer
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
4 words: hood of his car
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
