Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
