i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
