Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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