New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
