worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
