to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize