someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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