Soap is not a condiment
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
