So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
