There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
jump out the window naked night went bad
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
