im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
