I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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