I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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