FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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