Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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